The Price of Victory

• Padres 3, Nationals 0

So it looks like the closed door team before Saturday night's game was really about who won the "we don't have to go out there and lose again" raffle. The big winners were Vinny and Guillen, both of whom are probably even now booking 15-day vacations timed to coincide with trips to the DL. Consolation prizes to Vidro and Wilkie, who only had to pinch hit. With $16.5 of our $48.5 million opening day payroll riding the pine, the team suffered only a slight letdown, banging out just five hits while getting shutout by Padres ace Jake Peavy. They managed the same number of hits last night against Pedro Astacio, scoring two more runs.

If I were better at statistics I could compute the marginal cost of a Nats run, but since I'm not, I'm just going to make stuff up. All salary data courtesy of the USA Today baseball salary database.

• $48 million/3 runs per game = $16 million per run per game.

Clearly, the problem is that our hitters are underpaid. If it costs $16 million to generate a run, that one run accounts for the salaries of Wilkie, Vidro, Goooz and Schneider ($16 mil). The next run takes care of Guillen, Vinny, Nick and Preston ($12 mil), with enough left over to account for Ryan Church, Jamey Carroll, Carlos Baerga, and Tony Blanco (roughly $1.5 mil). Meaning the pitching staff has to account for the third run, and God help us if we want a fourth or fifth run.

The solution is obvious. The Nats hitters need a raise. Come on, J.B. you've liquidated most of our spare pitchers, there must be some petty cash around. Get on the ball.