RFK Etiquette

To celebrate the return of the Triple Play crew to RFK (and since there isn't much to celebrate in the Nats return to RFK so far) I've compiled a brief list of Do's & Don't's for genuine DC baseball fans:

DO:

• Stand and remove your hat during the National Anthem (this includes women & children);
• Cheer the announced Nats starting lineup (regardless of your feelings about a certain middle infielder);
• Wait until half inning breaks to leave your seat (you make a better door than a window);
• Heckle the Coors Light guys... it's the only way they'll learn;
• Watch for flying balls, bats, peanuts, t-shirts and small children;
• Try the chorizo, it's outstanding;
• Cheer for the ground crew, the trainer, the backup assistant clubhouse attendant, or anyone else whose efforts are rarely publicly acknowledged;
• Flirt with your neighbors, baseball is about making new friends;
• Take bets on the Dollar Derby, the Beer Race, the Turkey Hill Tub Shuffle, or any other in-game entertainment. Trust us, that's what they're for;
• Stand and stretch during the 7th inning stretch. We want to get a better look at you;
• Substitute "Nationals" for "home team" during "Take Me Out to the Ballgame";
• Cheer for the recovery of any injured player (yes, even Yankees);
• Exit calmly but quickly after the game, the Triple Play crew has things to do.

DO NOT:

• Emphasize the "O" in "O, say can you see...". This is not Baltimore.
• Screw up our National Anthem. If you're going to sing it in public, learn the words.
• Buy from the Coors Light guys, it only encourages them.
• Try the pizza. You've been warned.
• Heckle the Nat Pack, they're just kids... and those t-shirt cannons hurt.
• Cheer anything positive that happens to the opposing team. Except maybe the birth of a child, and then only if it's ugly.
• Spray pesticides on Screech. Bald eagles are a threatened species.
• Swear, there are little kids around. (I'm working on this one.)
• Start fights. The Triple Play crew does not want to have to hang around and provide your description to the cops.
• Forget to tip the beer guys. You heathens.

I'm sure my colleagues will fill in any I've missed. Enjoy the game!