My Kingdom for an Offense

• Braves 4, Nationals 3

Perversely enough, you really can't blame the last two losses on the Nats offense. Sure, they scored 5 runs over two games, but in this series that should actually have been enough to win. Instead, one night after the bullpen coughed up a lead, the Nats new Bad News Bears-style defense insured another loss. Despite a rare, late-inning offensive rally (thank you, Danny Kolb) our guys were unable to overcome bouts of hysterical blindness by Christian "Have You Seen My Baseball?" Guzman and Nick Johnson. Now, I've been in the tank for Goooz all season, but my support was always predicated on the notion that his above-average defense compensated for his abysmal offense. If he ain't gonna hit or field, I think he might be in serious danger when Tony Blanco comes off the DL.

Broadcast News

So Comcast's suit against MASN and the O's was dismissed by the circuit court in Montgomery County, but we're still no closer to seeing the Nats on TV. Since the Nationals aren't using their bats anyway, maybe we could give them to the opposing parties, lock them in a room, and hope they bludgeon each other to death. Major League Baseball, with it's usual assertiveness, vowed to redouble its efforts at doing nothing to get the Nats on TV.

But Do You Need to Use Protection to Play?

This has nothing to do with baseball or DC, but it's just too good to pass up. It appears that our good friend Ron Mexico, star of STD tests, radio call-in shows and the Las Vegas FatBurger will be making his video game debut this fall, courtesy of Midway.