March 12, 2008

The Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do as a Nats Fan

The team has announced a competition to determine the soundtrack for key moments of Nats home games. Beginning tomorrow morning, and for the next week, you will be able to vote for the music played:

  1. Following a Nats home run;

  2. During the second half of the 7th inning stretch. Take Me Out to the Ballgame gets top billing, as it should;

  3. Following a Nats victory.
This is easily the single most influential thing that you as a Nats fan can hope to contribute during this inaugural season. To paraphrase Edmund Burke, the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing while Rock and Roll Part 2 becomes the official post-victory song of the Washington Nationals. Inaction on your part may very well lead to eighty one games worth of insufferable, unoriginal Woo-Hoos after every home team homer. (Sorry MissC.)

Steinbog provides a full list of the options. The postgame choices are a little thin for my tastes, but hey, the opportunities to use a victory song are likely to be sparse too. The Air Force theme is a clever option for home run accompaniment, but I hope we can all agree that Build Me Up Buttercup has no place outside the closing credits of a Ben Stiller movie.

In this election season, OMG has prepared a handy Voter's Guide with clips of all the candidates. Freed of that responsibility I can proceed straight to telling you how to vote.

  • Because We Can - If we're going Fatboy Slim, it has to be Weapon of Choice, sorry.
  • Bustin Loose - The Godfather of Go-Go, DC legend Chuck Brown. 'Nuff said.
  • Kernkraft 400 - too Eurotrash, only really works on Glowstick Nite.
  • Off We Go--Air Force Theme - intriguing choice, but ultimately the stadium's too close to the Navy Yard and the Marine Barracks to pull this off.
  • Song 2-Woo Hoo - 1997 called and would like its anthem back.

7th Inning Stretch

  • Build Me Up Buttercup - nothing says "baseball" like pathetic single guys. Hey, wait...
  • Rock Me Gently - if we're going Neil Diamond-lite, Nats Power's gonna need a new graphic.
  • September - OK, but what about April through August?
  • Shout - only if we can Gator in the aisles.
  • The Gambler - does this come with a complimentary bucket of Kenny's chicken?
  • Twist And Shout - I'd love to see Ferris Bueller on the world's biggest HDTV, but no.
  • YMCA - Buck sez Larry Craig does not see the irony.
  • You Gotta Have Heart - Yes, it's musical theater. Yes, it's vaguely depressing if you listen close. But it's DC and it's baseball. What do you people want?

Post-game Victories

  • Beautiful Day - too preachy.
  • Celebration - too cliche.
  • Dancing In The Streets - streets too clogged with post-game traffic for dancing.
  • How Do You Like Me Now - winner by default?
  • Rock and Roll Part 2 - too pep rally, too pedophiley (tie). Seriously, terrible things will happen to you if you vote for this song. I'll see to it personally.

So there you go. Vote early. Vote often. Vote here.


Ironic Goat said...

What about Washington, DC by the magnetic fields?

I've always thought it would be fun to hear 40 thousand people sign that chorus.

Nate said...

fun to hear 40 thousand people sign that chorus.

What is the sound of 40,000 people signing?