January 11, 2006

Warning: Adult Content

This post is not suitable for children, the elderly, women who are pregnant or may become pregnant (you know who you are), people with heart conditions, small woodland creatures and habitual readers of DCist. The opinions expressed in this post are solely those of Nate, and are not approved or endorsed by Nats Triple Play, its affiliates or subsidiaries. Nats Triple Play assumes no financial or karmic liability for the following commentary.

Let's Ask a Real Expert

It's long past time for paragon of virtue and social responsibility Marion Barry to take the lead role in discussing the propriety and reasonableness of using public funds to build a baseball stadium. After all, who has a better grasp of the sliding scale that is misappropriation of taxpayer dollars? Anyone want to come out and claim that at least half the adjusted cost of renovating RFK didn't go up Hizzoner's nose during his years in office? And that's leaving aside the lavish security detail necessary to keep pesky dealers at bay, the rampant patronage that crippled city government and the expense of those pesky, video-monitored hotel rooms for the smoking of the crack rock.

Only in D.C. would uber-weenie and Defender of Libraries Jim Graham attempt to turn Marion Barry into a poster boy for treatment-on-demand for addicts. Because clearly the address of Marion's Narcotics Anonymous meeting was lost when his wallet got jacked by his constituents.

Now I'm Kinda Rooting for Him

BASEketball is one of the great underappreciated sports movies of 1998. Witness the following exchange:

Cooper: Hey pigfucker, can I call you pigfucker?
Reemer: No, only my friends can call me pigfucker.

Needless to say, should semi-local boy and designated
Jeffrey Hammonds 2006 Michael Tucker make the team out of Spring Training, I will be his friend, and his nickname will be waiting. Makes Preston "F****n" Wilson look positively complimentary by comparison, don't it?


Basil said...

Would it be fair to say that you're displeased?

Nate said...

The Nats offseason has taken on the character of mid-century French Theater of the Absurd for me.

Anonymous said...

Anyone want to come out and claim that at least half the adjusted cost of renovating RFK didn't go up Hizzoner's nose during his years in office?

That should properly be 'Hizzonerforlife'.

I had the day in front of my machine, so I suffered through that D.C. City Council hearing back in December on the stadium lease, wherein most of the clowncil used their limited time to pontificate and make speeches, rather than ask questions of those assembled to testify before them. Mayor Barely was a friggin joke to behold, but he sure knew how to order the time-keeper to reset the clock and give himself more time after he spent 1-2 minutes arguing with the little ol' granny who thought she was in charge of the hearing.

You simply could not write a fiction with more intrigue and character than this real-life soap opera unfolding before us. I think it's comical.

The greedy a$$holes at MLB are not going to walk away from US$450M plus future revenues from a profitable franchise in a major market. The locals in D.C. will squabble, but ultimately pull a rabbit outta their big fat hat to resurrect the stadium project.

As for baseball purity, pitchers and catchers report in 29 days. The rest is noise.