January 22, 2006

Stop Him Before He Signs Again

Jim Bowden is not housebroken. You have to keep an eye on him, or he will ruin all your nice things, like starting pitching depth. You want to believe him when he says it was an accident, says it won't happen again, but then you let him go off to the Winter Meetings by himself and he comes back with a petulant, egotistical second baseman turned not-quite left fielder, bringing the total number of infielders on the 40-man roster to somewhere around 39.

"No" he says, "you misunderstand. This was not an accident, this was an improvement. For a measly $10 million dollars I have purchased for you 15 additional homeruns and speed in the middle of the lineup!" ("Speed in the middle of the lineup?" you say,) but by now Jim Bowden is into a full-fledged coked-up Amway salesman pitch. "Just for the sake of argument" says Jim, "say Soriano doesn't work out. Say he wasn't just displaying that famous Alfonso sense of humor when he said there was no way he was going to move to left field and jepordize his career for a 1-year contract with a grubby National League quasi-expansion franchise. Well then, have I got an insurance policy for you... I can get you a great deal on an All-Star outfielder, a real Hall of Fame caliber hitter. Who needs A-Sor when you can have Sosa!"

By now we should recognize the look in Jim Bowden's eyes. It the look that says, "I'm about to make a mess, and you're not going to be able to get me outside in time to prevent it." Sure, he says all the right things about non-guaranteed contracts and Spring Training invites, but Sammy Sosa is a brand new squeaky toy for Jim, and if somebody else makes a move for him, you just know Bowden's gonna lunge. Without an owner to take JimBo to obedience school, teach him to heel and clean up the big messy piles he creates, he's living on borrowed time. Nobody faults him for his enthusiasm, but he has yet to prove that he can distinguish between motion and progress. If Sammy Sosa occupies a guaranteed spot on our roster "as insurance in case... Alfonso Soriano continues to refuse to play the outfield" it's time for an Old Yeller-style intervention.

At Least Someone's Getting New Digs

Sure, the new stadium is getting a pre-approval downgrade (much like my post-holiday credit score) but spiffy new homes are abounding in the Natmosphere. Nationals Farm Authority sheds its proletarian blogspot roots and lands over at DCSportsNet.com. By way of unsolicited housewarming advice, the color scheme needs work. BallWonk went the DCist-approved route, opting to upgrade his current home. Read the whole traumatic (and somehow Tron-related) saga here. Major props for the new left field foul pole, or as it is better known, Cap'n Hook's homerun vanishing pole.

We here at Nats Triple Play are humble, simple folk who don't go in much for fancy graphics (or any graphics really), expanded bandwidth or corporate sponsorship. We need all our money just to pay for the increased cost of our season tickets. Expect a Very Special Nats Triple Play Rant on that subject from Dave any day now. In the meantime I'll try to get around to editing our links to reflect moves and updates, and to account for the fact that the boys over at Nationals Interest have apparently lost, ummm... interest. If anyone can suggest a Nats blog that isn't linked here but ought to be, drop a comment in the box. C'mon people, this is your chance. Pimp those blogs!

2 comments:

ck said...

is it bad form to suggest our own blog? If yes, feel free to disregard:

http://www.nationalsenquirer.com/

Nate said...

Nah, what's a blog for, if not shameless self-promotion? Consider yourself linked.