Boozeball Has Been Beery Beery Good to Me!

Well heck, this explains everything! Trader Jim's not a bad GM, he just has a dysfunctional relationship with Sweet Lady Alcohol. I'm sympathetic to J.B.'s situation, and I even hope he's vindicated, but really, this makes a lot of sense to me. Think about it...

JimBo's belly up to the bar in Chi-town, trading shots of Wild Turkey with White Sox GM Kenny Williams, and all of a sudden, "BAM!" Adios, Jerry Owens. Hola, Alex Escobar.

The team goes on the road to Milwaukee, and after a tour of the Miller brewery, trading Tomo Ohka for Junior Spivey seems not just reasonable, but downright inspired.

And finally...

The winter meetings are winding down, Trader Jim is packing to leave Dallas. On his way through the lobby Texas Rangers GM Jon Daniels waives Bowden over to the bar for a "Going Away Margarita." One Cuervo Gold Especial 'rita turns to several, and someone suggests that Alfonso Soriano could be one hell of an outfielder if given the chance.

Even in an altered state JimBo is wary, knowing that Soriano has been reluctant to switch positions. Someone should definitely call him and check. J.B. whips out the cell phone and hits the entry labeled "Soriano." Unfortunately this connects him with Mariners reliever Rafael Soriano, who, though understandably confused to have the Washington Nationals GM asking him to move to the outfield expresses a qualified willingness to give it a try. And the rest, as they say, is history.