No, not like that. (Not like that, either.) But tonight IS the last night you can vote to get Cristian Guzman on to the 2008 NL All-Star Team!
Sure, he's not having a powerhouse offensive season like Hanley Ramirez. And he hasn't rebounded from scandal like Miguel Tejada. And he's not a "good defensive shortstop" as that phrase is commonly understood. But darn it all, somebody's got to represent the Nationals at the All-Star Game.
So it's either Guzie or Jon Rauch. Folks, I've been to Yankee Stadium and I'm here to tell you: Big Jon simply will not fit in Yankee Stadium. That ballpark is a relic of a simpler time, when Americans were smaller and folks of Rauch's stature were mocked as circus freaks until they snapped, rampaged through whatever hick town the carnival happened to be passing through, and were ultimately put down by the local authorities. Come on, you've seen King Kong (the good one, not the Jack Black version.) You know Jon Rauch on the loose in New York City can only end badly. Do you want Jesus Colome closing out games in the second half of the season? Do you?
Guzman in '08: If You Were on the All-Star Ballot, He'd Vote For You!
Image from Getty Images