March 2, 2009

The New Coke of Mascots

Full disclosure: I did not hate Screech v. 1.0. Either of them. Yes, he (or, I suppose, she) did look quite a bit more like a big chicken than a bird of prey. Yes, the signature pelvic thrust move was a little odd for a kid-magnet. But all-in-all, Screech was friendly, non-threatening and mildly entertaining. Very much like the 2005-2008 Washington Nationals.

I'll stipulate that I don't know much about mascot design and construction. But I know what I don't like, and I don't like this:

The team has replaced our dingy, roly-poly, hip thrusting, creepy-cute chicken with this vacant, gangly refugee from eagle fat camp.

Suffice it to say, this foolishness would not have been allowed on a Jim Bowden team. (Be forewarned, I plan on running that "joke" into the ground.) I have vague recollections that Screech was meant to grow up over the course of his time with the team. If that's true, and the original model was "Lil' Screech", this must be "Teenage Eating Disorder Screech."

In case I look forward to "Post-College Back in His Parents' Nest Screech", "Mid-Life Crisis Screech (w/ new chick)", and "Grandpa Screech" feebly flapping around trying to keep those dang kids off his lawn, by cracky.

Photo of New Screech courtesy of WaPo's DC Sports Bog and Dan Steinberg, who but for the vegetarianism and baldness, is the guy all DC sports bloggers secretly aspire to be.


sec314 said...

Yikes! My toddler daughters will NOT be pleased.

Lets face it, Mascots are for little kids. And little kids LOVED the old Screech.

Dave said...

No no no no no.

I already miss the bobble belly and this is just way lame. Of the NTP crew, I think I'm the one who liked Screech, and this is just lame.

Lame lame lame.

And more notable, nothing distinctive about this. At least the belly was funny.


Nate said...

314 - I think that's the key. Mascots aren't for adults, they're for kids. (Cheerleaders are for adults.)

Kids loved Screech Classic, we'll see what they think of New Screech.

Anonymous said...

From the photo, it looks like it's a relative of Slapshot, (who I think looks pretty scary). Now let's hope the Nats emulate some of the Caps success in playing their game...

Harper said...

Wouldn't that make Screech #1 Coke Classic?

I would call this one the "Coke Blak" to the old "C2"

GM-Carson said...

Here's a preview of the NL East rotations with a poll for voting.


Give it a plug if you like it, thanks.