January 1, 2010

Rocket Bill's Burning Sensation

If it's January 1st, it must be time for the first of many inane and wildly premature 2010 season previews. Leading off, 10 Burning Questions with MLB.com Nats beat writer "Rocket" Bill Ladson. As a bonus, we've given this column our patented "Ask an Idiot Blogger" treatment.

1. Will the Nationals play at least .500 baseball this season?

Rocket sez: "Too soon to tell. Ask again later."

We say: That's some quality Magic 8-Ball. But to actually answer the question, yes the Nats will go 2-2 over a four game stretch at some point in 2010, thereby playing .500 baseball. Wait, what... you mean .500 baseball for the season? Are you high?

2. Who is going to be the starting catcher?

Rocket sez: "Ivan Rodriguez."

We say: Boo! Bring back Wiki Gonzalez!

3. Will Elijah Dukes be the regular right fielder?

Rocket sez: "It's now or never."

We say: Define "regular". Seriously though, who's your alternative? Justin Maxwell? Willie Harris? It's Dukes' job until somebody better comes along.

4. Will Ian Desmond become the Opening Day shortop?

Rocket sez: "Answer unclear. Ask again when the Opening Day lineup is posted."

We say: Yes, unless Mike Rizzo can find someone better than Cristian Guzman to play second base. And he can, so the answer is no.

5. Between Stephen Strasburg and Drew Storen, who will have the biggest impact on the Nationals in 2010?

Rocket sez: "Storen."

We say: Strasburg's a starter, Storen's a closer, so between them would have to be a middle reliever, right? We'll go with Tyler Clippard and his fashion trend-setting goggles.

6. Will the Nationals trade Josh Willingham before the season starts?

Rocket sez: "All signs point to no."

We say: Maybe, and that's a significant upgrade from the Bowden regime when the answer would have been an unqualified, "Yes, for a scratched off lotto ticket and the fastest OF taken in the 1st round of the '99 amateur draft."

7. Will Nyjer Morgan's hand be 100 percent when Spring Training starts?

Rocket sez: "Yes. He's already hitting off a tee."

We say: No, he'll never play the viola again. And hitting off the tee is how Junior Spivey bit it.

8. Besides Marquis and John Lannan, who do you expect to be in the rotation in 2010?

Rocket sez: "Stammen, Detwiler and a PTBNL (pitcher to be named later)."

We say: If Rizzo stays in house, Stammen, Scott Olsen and J.D. Martin. If they bring in outside help, Stammen, John Smoltz and Livan. Yup, it's that bad.

9. Will Cristian Guzman play second base for Washington?

Rocket sez: "He will if Rizzo and Riggleman tell him to."

We say: Yes, unless Mike Rizzo can find someone better than Cristian Guzman to play second base. And he can, so the answer is no.

10. Who is the Nationals closer?

Rocket sez: "The survivor of the Bruney - Capps battle royale."

We say: Anybody but Kip Wells.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It will be great to watch Washington Nationals, i have bought tickets from
http://ticketfront.com/event/Washington_Nationals-tickets looking forward to it.