November 14, 2006

You Know the Drill

Kriner: The Face That Launched 1000 Questions

Succumbing to intense peer pressure, mild ennui and enormous lack of content, Nats Triple Play has joined the 5 Questions movement. If you are unfamiliar with The Curly W's interrogatory Crusade... well, go bother them.


Brandon has intrepidly quizzed allied and adversarial bloggers far and wide. As a result, all the obvious questions have been answered, ad nauseum. NTP steps up to the plate to fill your useless knowledge void hole.

Question the First: Should there be cheerleaders in Baseball?

Absolutely not, unless you're talking about replacing all the male Nat Pack members with attractive, nubile women. If that's what you mean, then YES!

But seriously, we already have mid-inning JumboTron contests, people firing things into the stands, and a giant Eagle riding around in a golf cart. I don't think cheerleaders would add anything substantive to the atmosphere.


Question the Second: What's your favorite breakfast meat?

Chicken Maple Sausage. It's sausage, but doesn't make you feel like you're drinking grease out of a tube like pork sausage does. I've always wondered how some meats became acceptable for breakfast consumption and others are verboten. Why the hell can't I have ribs for breakfast?

Question the Third: What's your favorite baseball movie?

I really liked Field of Dreams because it really honored the quiet nature of baseball. FoD was poignant for the things that weren't done and said, and baseball is my favorite game for the same reason. The game doesn't rely on nonstop action for excitement. Instead, anticipation builds through the windup, the checked swing, the foul tip, the lead off the bag. The hit, home run and stolen base are so exciting because they release all that tension.

Question the Next to Last: If you could pick one feature for the new stadium to have what would you choose?

This is more of a meta-feature, but I'd choose for it to be as uniquely "DC" as possible. I hope that the stadium takes on an unmistakable atmosphere of its own, something that's synonymous with soul of the city the way that Wrigley is for Chicago, Fenway is for Boston, or even like Camden is for Baltimore. 30 years from now, when someone suggests that the stadium be torn down, I want people to get all up in arms and protest because the place has such a sense of presence.

Sadly, the philosophy behind the construction of nearly all the modern parks has been to maximize the delivery of amenities for optimum revenue generation. The emphasis is on cash registers per square foot, not on building an amazing place to spend a summer night.

Question the Last: What would your coming to bat music be?

Ah, no brainer. I'd choose the opening chords of Son Volt's "Bandages and Scars." Love that song.


Thanks again to the Curly One for including us in his tour of the Natosphere. Follow this link to see our responses to Brandon's incisive journalistic questioning.

Now we're late for Happy Hour. Good luck to Manager Manny, Tim Redding, and Alfonso Soriano's tax advisor. Parting Thought: If "something" should "happen" to Hanley Ramirez, would Ryan Zimmerman assume the duties of NL Rookie of the Year? I'm just asking...

4 comments:

Ben Folsom said...

No cheerleaders? Chicken sausage? References 'release of tension' in a movie about (male) baseball players? Brandon, you are as soft as a baby's bottom and fruity as California wine.

Hell yes cheerleaders, scrapple and Cobb, because Tommy Lee Jones knew what an SOB Ty Cobb really was.

Harper said...

Scrapple? Chicken Suasage? There is only one correct answer to this question, and we all know it. Bacon. Let's move on now.

Nate said...

Ben: Why doesn't Brandon let you play "5 Questions With..."? You clearly have better answers.

EGCN: Don't be a breakfast meat totalitarian. They're all wonderful. Real bacon or Canadian?

Harper said...

Real. There is a reason it has to be prefaced as "Canadian" while the other type can go as just "Bacon".

I don't think it's totalitarian to think debating breakfast meat is like debating who is the best basketball player of all time. There are plenty of good discussions to be had but is the end you are really arguing why it shouldn't be the obvious choice. I said it. Bacon is the Michael Jordan of breakfast meats. Or more precisely Michael Jordan is the Bacon of the NBA.